Here we go – the epic conclusion to the first Full House cliffhanger. We’re treated to a previously on… recap which ends with, “Jesse ran away from home?” And then the first line of the new episode is that very same line. I guess that’s for people who need a recap of the recap. Danny doesn’t have the heart to break the news to the kids. He says its a father situation and he should handle it and for Joey to play dumb. Danny tells the girls Jesse went on a little vacation and they ask where, suddenly Danny needs Joey’s help again. You’re, like, ankle deep in a lie and you’re already gasping for air? Damn it man, just say anywhere and when they press further remind them that they’re kids and to know their place! Joey tells them that Jesse went for a vacation in the desert because he loves the sand and to sweat. A classic example of Joey’s ability to think on his feet.
Joey is trying to make breakfast like Uncle Jesse used to make but he’s doing an awful job at it. The phone rings, Joey goes to pick it up and it’s Jesse. Everyone goes running to the phone. DJ grabs the phone, then Danny grabs the phone. Jesse says he’s skiing with his buddies in Tahoe and doesn’t know when he’s coming back. He gives Danny a phone number in case there’s an emergency. Stephanie is jumping up and down because she just has to tell Uncle Jesse something. Stephanie asks if she can sleep in his room, which used to be her room anyway. He says yes.
In Tahoe Jesse is singing Love Machine with all of his friends and the beach boy guy is finally given some lines. He gives a toast to the return of Jesse, and Jesse gives a toast to his escape from Romper Room. He says it is just the beginning and when he gets back he’s getting his own place. They decide to hit the slopes so Jesse runs around the cabin like a lunatic grabbing all the stuff he needs, and even some stuff he obviously doesn’t, like a fanny pack. It exhausts him to the point of not even wanting to go out anymore. It’s really fucking bizarre. Alright, I admit it, I really have no idea what this scene was meant to be about. Is it meant to be funny? It makes no sense. It’s like a throwback to the scene where he runs around gathering food for the girls – except here he’s in some sort of self-imposed, manic state.
Meanwhile, back at the house, DJ is telling Rock N Roll Danny that she would prefer to have her guitar lessons from Jesse like normal. She asks if he is sure. He says its going to be a lot of fun and then proceeds to play Frog Went A-Courting. He then does an awful job of teaching DJ how to play which turns into them arguing.
Danny says they’re suppose to be having fun but DJ says she isn’t having fun and she misses Uncle Jesse. DJ asks if Uncle Jesse is thinking of moving out. After mom died it sucked, She says things got better when Jesse and Joey moved in. Danny says he agrees but Jesse is an adult and it is his choice. When and if the time is right he will come back. DJ doesn’t like it but has no choice but to deal with it. Danny goes back to teaching DJ songs – opting for an Elvis song like Uncle Jesse would play. He plays an awful rendition of Are You Lonely. Meanwhile Stephanie is moving back to her old room with the help of Michelle. Stephanie says its great that they have their own rooms back for a couple of days but DJ lets it slip that Jesse might not be back for a while. Stephanie breaks back into her Mara Wilson voice and the girls are all sad about the thought of a life with no Jessie. So they hatch a devious plan to call Jesse and pretend Michelle is sick. Once Jesse comes-a-runnin’ Stephanie will move in with the hugs, while DJ lets the air out of his tires.
Beach Boy boy picks up the phone and says Jesse is still out skiing. Stephanie gets on the phone and screams help, they try to get Michelle to cough into the phone but she just sticks her tongue out much to the audiences delight. So DJ has to cough. Beach boy promises to let Jesse know when he gets back from skiing. Stephanie feels bad about lying. We cut back to the cabin as Jesse stumbles in. I dunno, I guess they’re going for some sort of abstract Jesse can’t handle the rough and tumble lifestyle of someone his age angle? “You know kids, I was skiing, and hanging out with my friends, and banging my hot girlfriend all day and I realized… I’d rather break my back slaving over you guys”. Believable. Beach boy gives the message but Jesse isn’t concerned, as Danny and Joey are there to take care of the girls. Beach Boy suggests some boys are back in town and they all sing. Jesse is part way through when he stares staring into space and we dissolve into a scene of Jesse rocking Michelle to the tune of Baby Love. It turns into a montage of all of Michelle’s Ugly Babiest Moments. It’s really… really quite repulsive and it’s also really long. It’s like the Matrix Reloaded Rave scene of sitcom scene-filler.
The guilt trip works though and Jesse decides he has to split – Michelle needs him. He leaves everyone behind and runs home. Back at the house Danny and Jesse are playing basketball in the living room. Jesse comes running home all worried about Michelle. Danny and Joey ask him what the hell he’s talking about. He says someone called and said Michelle was sick. Danny says she’s fine. Jesse is relieved at first and then angry that he wasted all that time driving there for no reason. Danny says it must have been one of the girls because his leaving really shook them up. Jesse is unapologetic, he says he went looking for himself and found him. He says he lost something moving in. Joey says he’s gained something too, and to look at how fast he came running back for Michelle. Danny says he’s not just an uncle that stops by a few times a year any more, he’s really important to them. Joey lays another layer of guilt on saying he has been there every time the girls have needed him. Danny says can he honestly forget about the last 7 months and go back to how things used to be? Jesse realizes the girls really love him.
He says they better not tell his friends but he realizes that being part of the family fills an empty space in his heart that he didn’t realize was there. Danny says he can take time for himself whenever he needs it. Joey says they will make it work. He asks if Lassie is coming home. Jesse says yes. Danny says he needs a hug, Joey says he needs a hug too. Jesse tells them to hug each other. Jesse goes to his room and throws his coat on the bed and wakes Stephanie, she gets excited and wakes up DJ. They both surround him excited that the plan worked. They ask if he’s leaving again and he says he’s staying. He gives a talk about always being their uncle, and always being there when they need him. He even pinky swears on it. Then he goes to talk to Michelle and says he thought he would just move in for a few months and move on with his life. He realized that this is where he belongs. The moment he realized she was sick he just had to come back. He asks just what is it about her face. I’ve been wondering the same thing for 19 episodes. He says he loves the munchkin and the episode ends.
Episode 20: Season One - The Seven-Month Itch - Part 2,