Episode 22: Season 1 – DJ Tanner’s Day Off

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It’s the moment you’ve been waiting for: the final episode of Full House season one! The episode starts off with DJ dancing around her room and singing into her hair brush. It’s some pretty awkward stuff so naturally Kimmy Gibbler walks into her room right when she’s in the middle of it. Gibbler laughs and then DJ says it’s not like she [Gibbler] never does the same thing. Kimmy is there to gloat and shows DJ a note giving her permission to miss school to watch her rabbit give birth to bunnies. DJ incredulously asks if her parents actually wrote the note, to which Gibbler proudly admits to having paid her brother to forge it. The real reason she wants to miss school is so she can go to the mall and get Stacey Q’s autograph. Hey, that’s a great marketing approach – hold your album signing when a massive chunk of your fan base is unable to attend.

Stephanie comes in and wants to join the conversation but DJ puts her in her place explaining that her world is down with the gutter people… or something to that effect. So Stephanie brings over a chair and stands on it so she can be as tall as they are. Meanwhile Danny is calling the girls to come downstairs. As he waits for them to come down he provides a list of numbers Joey and Jesse might need while he’s away. All of the numbers he provides are stupid – including ‘grandma’ and ‘the police’ – and likely numbers they already know, since they’ve been raising his children for 8 months now. Danny points out that it is his first night away from the children overnight. Huh? What’s the difference. We’ve already clearly seen that Jesse and Joey have put the girls to bed before Danny got home in other episodes. The only thing that might not happen tonight is one of them getting woken up by the father recording their feet while they sleep.

The girls come down and Danny gives them all hugs and kisses and gets so caught up in the moment that he hugs Kimmy Gibbler. Danny reminds the girls to be on their best behavior for Jesse and Joey. He also says it to stress it, because obviously DJ is going to skip school to go see Stacey Q. Before Danny leaves, DJ asks if she can go get an autograph from her favorite singer Stacey Q. She gives him a permission slip saying she can stay out of school. Danny says unfortunately not. DJ tries the “Kimmy gets to” approach. That doesn’t work either. DJ says if she doesn’t get to go she’s going to die. Danny assures her she’s not going to die from a lack of a autograph. He gives her a hug goodbye and leaves. Gibbler commiserates with DJ but DJ says it isn’t over yet. Upstairs, Jesse is practicing is music and he’s written another absolutely awful song. DJ is standing there and she says how much she loved the song and continues to overload him with compliments. Jesse sees through this, but says whatever she wants she’s got it.

DJ asks Jesse if she can interview him for a school project on who she admires most. Jesse is of course more than happy to oblige. DJ says she bets Uncle Jesse was wild as a kid. Jesse agrees, saying he used to color outside the lines on purpose. DJ leads him to talk about how much of a bad boy he was and how much he probably ditched school. Jesse said he did it once in a while, not that he is proud of it. He used the excuse that he was sick, had his mom call and say that he wouldn’t be there, then a short while later he would say he felt better. Thereby, the school would not be expecting him, but his mom would assume that, feeling better, he actually went to school. After getting that information DJ pretty much bounces on the interview much to Jesse’s surprise.

Cut to later on and DJ is holding Popsicles, sniffing an onion and has a hot water bottle on top of her head. She gets the thermometer to just the right temperature so that she won’t have to go to school and then slinks into bed pretending to be sick. Stephanie calls for Joey who comes in and takes her temperature and says she’s burning up. Joey is alarmed but DJ insists she has to go to school because she has a test on Canada. Joey goes and calls the school to let them know DJ won’t be in and we fade out as DJ congratulates herself on being rad. A short while later we join Joey and Michelle downstairs, Joey is having Michelle help dry dishes. DJ comes running downstairs and Joey asks her what she’s doing out of bed. DJ says her hands are warm and she feels better and can go to school. Joey says freeze and makes the sound of a police siren with his mouth and tells her he needs to see her license and feel her forehead. Joey thinks that DJ had a change of conscience and decided to stop faking being sick and go to school and take the test after all. He says he’s proud of her, and she goes off to school to take the test. He gives Michelle a bowl and she licks it.

At the mall DJ and Gibbler are screaming that Stacey Q is so rad. Stacey Q isn’t rad, though – she’s just scary looking. Kimmie and DJ tell Stacey how they would like their autographs made out. They’re so excited but as they’re exiting they see Joey about to walk in. They run and hide behind some albums. Joey has Michelle with him and Michelle sees DJ and Kimmie hiding and comes running over to see them. DJ does her best to shoo Michelle away but she won’t go and Joey has to go get her, but not until after trying to impress some girl. Joey finds Michelle, and the unexpected surprise of DJ and Kimmie and can’t believe it. He asks what she is doing there and she tells him getting busted. Joey says he was so impressed with her honesty that he had come down to get her an autograph. Joey says it isn’t cool and takes her autograph and drags her out like a baby. Later back at the house Joey is telling Michelle it is a shame kids have to grow up. Jesse comes in and asks what the emergency is. Joey tells him that DJ cut school to get an autograph. Jesse says “I cut work for that?” saying he was this close to finding out where a trail of ants came from.

Joey says she did more than cut school, she totally tricked him, and goes to tell Jesse her diabolical plan. It gets Jesse’s attention and he reveals that he accidentally gave her that plan. The two of them put their heads together to work out how to take care of the situation. They then practice angry dad faces. Up in DJ’s room she says she feels totally bad and she will never do anything like it again. Jesse says regardless of how bad she feels Joey and him need to deal with her misconduct. Joey says no TV for two weeks. Jesse says no TV and no music for two weeks. And Joey one-ups him with no friends over for a month. DJ says it’s fine, she deserves to be punished – that her dad trusted her and she let him down. This guilts Jesse into feeling like they are being too hard on her. Jesse says maybe they shouldn’t tell Danny when he gets back. Joey says they should be honest. Jesse says if they’re honest Danny might think they don’t know how to take care of the kids. Joey agrees. They tell her that they won’t tell Danny and she’s thankful.

Downstairs Jesse and Joey are reading a book to Michelle. In what has been honestly a really boring episode, Danny puts some wind in my sails when he busts open the door and says, “Cowabunga, dudes!” while dressed like a total loser. It’s so spectacularly bad that it is bound to be a series highlight for me – definitely one of the biggest fails of season one. He says he missed his dudettes, kisses Michelle, and says “Let me do det again”. He asked how everything went and everyone says it went fine. Stephanie arrives home and tells DJ that she looks so much better. Everyone gives each other a nervous glance. Danny asks what he means and she answers that she got her hair done. Stephanie stresses the point that she thought DJ was out sick. And DJ says she was – she was sick of her hairstyle. Jesse takes Stephanie aside and tells her they’re going to play a little game called “Let’s not talk about DJ”. Stephanie turns around and screams, “Anybody wanna play a game called let’s not talk about DJ”. Obviously now all Danny wants to do is talk about DJ.

Everyone looks at each other nervously and then Joey says she felt bad earlier in the morning but that they got her back on her feet in no time. And they didn’t see any reason to say anything. Since they’re close to righting this sinking boat, Stephanie comes back in and says, “Since you weren’t at school today the teacher told me to give you your homework!” By now the jig is up and they hand her homework across like a pass the parcel of guilt. Danny shows his dad face and asks DJ to tell him the truth. DJ explains how she tricked Joey and Jesse and got busted by Michelle. Stephanie gets upset that DJ turned her into a liar too, telling everyone that she was sick. She says she thought she knew her but she doesn’t. And even made her a get well card. Danny sends DJ upstairs and talks to Joey and Jesse, well, actually he yells at them. He says he doesn’t expect them to be honest but he does expect them to tell him everything going on in the lives of his children. He says he doesn’t want to have to lecture them, but he’s disappointed that they lied. Joey says they just didn’t want him to think they couldn’t handle things while he was gone.

Upstairs DJ asks Stephanie what she’s doing and she says she’s making a get sick card. Danny comes in and Stephanie says “uh oh lecture time” and attempts to make a fast exit. Danny tells her she should stay and listen because it’ll no doubt apply to her some day as well. She asks her why she did what she did, and she says because she wanted the autograph more than anything. He asks if she knows what the worst part about what she did was. Danny says the worst part was that she was selfish. That she did whatever she had to do to make sure DJ got what she wanted without caring about the feelings of others. DJ says she doesn’t want to be like that and Danny says he knows she doesn’t. DJ says she’s really sorry and Danny says he’s sure next time she won’t do the same thing. Stephanie wants to know if she’s Danny’s favorite now. He says that they will always be equal in his eyes.

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