RAMBURGLAR and the STAFF of DREAMS
RAMBURGLAR was conscientiously designed to be unlike other the two-trillion gaming sites. We don’t believe in long reviews. It’s not because we hate reading them (or writing them for that matter) – the majority of reviews simply aren’t well written or fun to read. Most reviews have inflated word-counts just so sites can get more advertising dollars. It really shows. Writing used to be lighthearted and enjoyable but now it’s all about padding out a press release. Dry. Humorless. Dull. Fuck that.
We’re not trying to sound holier than thou with that whole advertising dollar thing either. We’re not going to sit here and pretend that we’re not interesting in being able to do this as a paid job. We love money too. The difference is we’re not going to write a certain way because it might increase page counts and make us more cash than another. Some of us have written for sites like that and it sucks. There’s nothing worse than hating writing when your entire job revolves around writing.
In fact we went even further and removed the standard review format completely. That sucks too. Granted it’s being done well on some sites, but it’s done horribly on a great many more. There’s no point in us throwing an identical hat into the mix. We cover each game in a very relaxed one-on-one interview format. We don’t have a set word quota and there’s no hard and fast rules other than being honest about the game at hand. Things frequently veer off topic – much like real conversations. It’s like, you know, whatever…!
We do not give games any sort of numerical or alphabetical rating – although we welcome visitors to rate games. We hope that our rating is properly conveyed through the answers in our interviews. Again, the rating system is so ridiculously at this point we’re just going to take the plunge and march on without it. It’s not likely to make or break this site one way or another.
Each interview contains a piece of trivia relevant to the date that particular game was released. We do this in an attempt to bridge the video game at hand with the current events of that era. The goal is to better place you in, say, the summer of 1987 or the release of the PlayStation. You know, for nostalgia sake. We cover the majority of systems released from 1985 on. We would cover the Atari VCS/2600 but our only system was lost on a moving truck.
Mercenary. Thug. Extortionist. Australian. Hardcore SEGA fan. Some of those things define mū tsū but the majority of them describe Kano from Mortal Kombat. mū tsū started this site as a quick and easy way to work from bed, but it soon turned into something slow and… the opposite of easy? His human form is believed to disguise a horrid reptilian creature whose race was thought extinct millions of years ago. He has also been waiting thirteen years for the conclusion of the Shenmue saga.
After failing to graduate college (some say due to him never enrolling in the first place) over.klöch decided to pursue video game journalism. His incredible way with words attracted the attention of mū tsū, who recruited him into his army of D-list gaming journalists. His goal is to make hundreds of dollars off this site and perhaps, one day, get a free t shirt or a maybe even some sort of semi-rare tchotchke from a kind-of-well-known studio.
Model CJ-Z80: Unit 80 of 100, Zilog was part of an experimental project involving cybernetic journalists. When the project was cancelled, all 100 units were rounded up and destroyed in a vat of molten steel. Off on an extravagant press junket in Paris, Zilog was able to escape this cruel and unexpected fate. He has vowed to continue covering the gaming industry until a better paying opportunity arises. Zilog has no soul and as such cannot be found by EA’s extermination squads.
ROMcheque came to this site after intercepting a distress signal from the world of video game journalism. Replacing his pathetic human arms with indestructible bionic-implants, ROMcheque outshines his peers by being able to write indefinitely. ROMcheque writes from the shadows – producing quality content throughout the day and well into the night. His goal is to make billions of dollars off this site and retire from this dangerous and thankless profession before it swallows him whole.
Model CJ-Z99: Unit 99 of 100, Katana is one of only two surviving cybernetic journalists. It is not known how Katana managed to escape the annihilation that befell all but one other machine. With a power-cell that lasts 120 years his goal is to make trillions of dollars off this site, and find the men and women responsible for the obliteration of his kind. Although all CJ units were built with the same capabilities, it is rumored that Katana has been reprogrammed with mysterious new powers…
A wayward tourist in Mexico in the wrong place at the wrong time. “Gringo” unknowingly walked into a portal in the middle of the Chihuahuan Desert, finding himself thrust on a strange journey through space and time. Emerging on the streets of San Francisco confused and disoriented, he stumbled forth from the dust cloud looking for answers. Luckily, mū tsū was nearby and was able to point him in the right direction. He was told that he is one of our interns and that he’s been very happy working for us for several years.